After the service, the pastor’s wife was pleasant but distant. Whenever the conversation turned toward her, she perked up. But as the focus shifted toward others, she became less present and struggled to hide her disinterest.
Her husband, the pastor, seemed much more engaged.
As we turned to leave, my heart sank. It was only a sample size of one, but I sensed that the church was only loved by one in the marriage. They were not true partners in ministry.
Sadly, this ministry couple is not alone. Many pastors have wives who are relatively lukewarm to the ministry – and them. Even worse, I know others whose wives have either functionally, or literally, left both altogether.
This is not to place the blame on the ladies. Indeed behind a wife who lacks passion for God’s people there is sometimes a leader who is not leading well. In the dance of pastoral ministry, it takes two to tango. But how do we know if we are choosing a partner who dances well in ministry?
Although it is written especially for guys in, or heading toward, ministry, I think any guy considering marriage will find it highly relevant. You can also see the introduction to the series, Godliness Attracts Godliness, over at AIC, too.
And men, if you are in ministry, AIC is definitely a site you’ll want to visit.)