Christian Singles: Grow In Christ & Prepare For Dating
Singleness can be a confusing, lonely season. But as godly men and women pursue God, he meets them there. These resources offer advice for Christian singles so they can find contentment and get ready for a healthy marriage that glorifies God, serves others, and brings them joy.
When you're single, it can be really lonely. And so easy to just jump into a relationship. But you will save yourself - and the person you date - a ton of heartache if you make these 5 commitments now.
Bryan has mentored my now-husband and I from singleness all the way through our first year of marriage. We never felt like passive students—more like active participants in building a relationship that glorified God, with an experienced and invested counselor as our guide.
Jason & Ann
Singleness, Season of Opportunity?
If you're a single Christian and would like to be married, it can be hard to find contentment. As in, really hard.
You know the 'right answers'. That you're right where you're supposed to be. That you're exactly where God has you. And, that you're no less in God's eyes just because you're not married. And of course, Jesus never got married, either.
All those things are deeply, and biblically, true. Who are you to complain, right?
I know it's not that easy to be content, though.
During grad school, I can remember studying by myself and, night after night, feeling intensely lonely. I hung out in groups with other Christian singles, tried to focus on serving with my church, and that helped... some. And as a seminary student, I knew all the right answers.
I had my good days and bad days, but still, it was incredibly tough.
Pressures All Around
But it's more than just how you feel about this season of being single. Pressure comes from other places, too.
When you go to church or hangout with friends, you wonder if the person you're talking to is 'the one.'
Your friends try to set you up with someone 'you've got to meet.'
You've tried dating apps, but never really know what you're getting into.
And even when do you go on dates, you often get disappointed and things don't work out. (Which can get seriously awkward if you have to see each other often.)
You watch your friends start dating and getting engaged. And our culture keeps bombarding you with messages that dating (and ultimately, marriage) is awesome with a capital 'A'.
Sometimes, it feels easier to just forget it all and numb the pain with food, TV, alcohol, work, school, sexual sin, or going on dates with anyone who will give you some attention.
In the midst of this hot mess, it's easy to start wondering, 'What's wrong with me? What's the point of being a godly man, or a godly woman? Will I be alone forever?'
I can't answer that last question for you, of course. But I can say, on God's authority, that there's hope for you. That God is with you, and cares about what you're going through. And that this season will not be wasted if you lean into it - and God.
Hope And Advice For Godly, Christian Singles
Listen to God's promises for Christian singles:
- Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6)
- Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
- '...casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.' (1 Peter 5:7)
- 'I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.' (John 16:33)
I know these bible verses aren't exactly about relationships. They aren't a silver bullet, and they don't take away the very real challenges you're facing.
And yet, with a little application, these verses are about being single, and relationships. When we walk with God, singleness is truly a good 'gift... from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.' (James 1:17)
You're going to be okay. More than okay.
My prayer is that the resources and advice for Christian singles on this site will help you walk deeply with God through this season, and get you ready - if God is calling you to it - for a season of healthy dating that will lead to a great marriage.
'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.' (Jeremiah 29:11)