Learn How Your Marriage Can Glorify God, Bring You Joy, & Impact The World Around You
In his wisdom, God put the closest human relationship - marriage - right in the middle of life's most challenging process, becoming like Christ (sanctification). It's hard to imagine anything more glorious (or difficult) than a biblical, Christian marriage, where a man and woman get to picture the relationship God has with us, his church. Whether you're in your first year of marriage, or a seasoned couple, you'll find practical, biblical advice on marriage here.
“Anyone who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.” (Author Robert Byrne) So today we’re going to talk about something really important to us men. Sex. More specifically, why your wife doesn’t want sex with you.
A Godly Marriage - The Hardest Relationship You'll Ever Love
If you've been married more than a few months, you know marriage is awesome and hard. There are many moments where you couldn't be happier. And others where you wonder if you made the right decision.
When you were dating, it used to be so easy. Not that it was perfect, but holding hands, date nights with dinner and a movie, and conversation just flowed.
But after awhile, it's not so straightforward. Arguing over petty details, struggling to find energy for each other after a long day, fighting for margin when life is crazy busy, and compromising over physical intimacy can all take a toll over time. Not to mention challenges with cultivating spiritual intimacy.
All of a sudden, the biblical principles on marriage we thought we knew can feel irrelevant. And we begin to feel like failures.
Christian Marriage: Holiness Or Happiness?
When you realize how difficult marriage can be, it's hard not to wonder if God made a mistake.
My wife and I didn't question our marriage, but after a great season of dating and engagement, the wheels fell off a year into our marriage. We still loved each other, and had some great moments, but we bickered constantly over the dumbest things... even when we knew they were dumb. (And often late at night, when nothing good ever happens. But I digress...)
We just couldn't seem to make any kind of lasting progress, and eventually wound up at a counselor, ready to admit we needed help. 'God, why in the world is marriage SO hard?!'
Over time, we came to see that our marriage was about way more than our happiness. In his sovereign wisdom, God had placed our marriage in the epicenter of his process of making us like his Son (sanctification).
Knowing our individual strengths and weaknesses, he had put Sharon (my wife) and I together so that we could fulfill his grand purpose of picturing his relationship with his church through Christ.
'This mystery [of marriage] is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.' (Ephesians 5:32)
God is willing to let us experience moments of unhappiness in the greater interests of our holiness and joy. As we become molded into the likeness of Christ, we glorify God and - ironically - also become happier. At least on a deeper level.
As the days pass, like a gifted sculptor, God is chiseling away at sin and weakness we didn't even recognize. And making something beautiful in the process. Ultimately, God is committed to both our holiness and - in the truest sense of the word - our happiness, too.
If we'll stick with it, we will witness God's powerful, refining work that gives us something far, far better than the bliss of those early days of dating. Something we wouldn't trade for anything.
Bryan has mentored my now-husband and I from singleness all the way through our first year of marriage. We never felt like passive students—more like active participants in building a relationship that glorified God, with an experienced and invested counselor as our guide.
Jason & Ann