Relationship Resources

Recommended Resources

These are resources I trust in the area of relationships and sexual purity, and think you'll enjoy, too. I've grouped them according to the stage of relationship they address (single, dating, engaged, married), plus growing in Christ, which is relevant - and most important for - every stage. 

There's also a section for sexual purity, one of the biggest struggles many are facing today.

Feel free to scroll through, or, simply click the links below to go straight to the area you're interested in.

Growing In Christ (the foundation for everything)

Paul Miller A Praying Life

A Praying Life by Paul Miller (book, workbook)

This is one of my favorite books of all-time, in any category. While its focus is prayer, it's ultimately about growing in our trust in God, which helps us grow in prayer. If you read this slowly, and go through the workbook, it will change your life.

Gentle & Lowly Dane Ortlund

Gentle & Lowly by Dane Ortlund (book)

Everyone who has read this book loves it, including my wife. It helps us discover Jesus' gracious heart for us as we struggle with sin and suffering. It's the #1 rated book in Christian discipleship on Amazon for a reason. 

Pursuing God ebook Bryan Stoudt cover

Pursuing God by Bryan Stoudt (free ebook)

Jesus invites us to 'seek first' his kingdom, but we all know it's so hard to do in our everyday lives. In this free ebook, ministry leaders like Francis Chan, Dave Harvey, and Paul Miller share personal (not copy-and-paste stuff from the web) practices that work for them. 


Single Dating Engaged Married by Ben Stuart

Single, Dating, Engaged, Married by Ben Stuart (book)

Goes through each of the main phases in our journey toward marriage, highlighting a key theme for each. Best for those in their twenties. You can also get a bible study guide that goes along with the book.

table and chairs with romantic view of the city at night

Singleness & Dating Articles & Resources by Desiring God

Lots of great articles and resources on dating from people like John Piper.

Ready For Marriage Course Cover Bryan Stoudt

Ready For Marriage 5-Day Challenge by Bryan Stoudt (free online course)

Discover the essential biblical foundation, heart attitudes, and 3 powerful tests to get ready for a marriage that glorifies God and brings you joy.


Not Yet Married Marshall Segal

Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy In Singleness & Dating by Marshall Segal (book)

It's easy to think dating and marriage will meet all their needs, but... that's simply not true. God doesn't want us to sit back and wait for him to bring us 'The One'. This book helps singles find joy, and live for Christ now, before they get married.

dating couple holding hands

Dating Articles & Resources by The Gospel Coalition

Lots of great articles and resources on dating from people like Matt & Lauren Chandler, Tim & Kathy Keller, and Paul Tripp. 

biblical dating guide

Assess The Health Of Your Relationship (Free Guide)

Are you in a dating relationship? Find out whether you're heading toward a healthy, godly marriage with this free guide.


The Mingling of Souls Matt Chandler

The Mingling Of Souls by Matt Chandler (book)

This book could be useful for anyone single through the first year or so of marriage, and is based off of the Song of Solomon. Matt Chandler is biblical, direct and has a great sense of humor. Fantastic reviews on Amazon.

SYMBIS Assessment 

This is the premarital counseling assessment my wife and I use in our work with couples, and will help you zero in on your strengths and weaknesses as a couple. BUT: SYMBIS requires you to work with a trained facilitator so you get the most out of it. Feel free to reach out to my wife and I to see if we're a good fit for you. (We offer virtual sessions.) Or, visit SYMBIS's site to learn more, and find another facilitator near you. Also available: companion book, and his and her workbooks.

Christian premarital counseling Bryan Stoudt

Christian Premarital Counseling Guide (Free Guide)

You know you're 'supposed' to do premarital counseling, but not all Christian premarital counseling - quite honestly - is adequate. Find out the key topics you need to cover, and how to choose a quality premarital counselor or couple.


The Meaning Of Marriage Tim Kathy Keller

The Meaning Of Marriage by Tim & Kathy Keller (book, study guide, devotional)

One of my favorite books on marriage, this book is classic Keller. He breaks down the common myths about marriage in our culture, and offers a thoughtful, biblical perspective on how we can have a marriage that honors God and brings us joy. Has an accompanying study guide and couples devotional, too.

You & Me Forever Francis & Lisa Chan

You & Me Forever by Francis & Lisa Chan (book, workbook)

I respect the relationship Francis Chan has with Christ deeply, and the unique perspective he brings. That comes across in everything he creates, including this book on marriage, where he reminds us that the way to have a great marriage is not by focusing on marriage. Also available: a workbook to help you apply it to your marriage.

Winston Smith Marriage Matters book cover

Marriage Matters by Winston Smith (book, study guide)

This fantastic book contains a rare balance of scripture, big picture principles, and practical strategies. It focuses on how the everyday moments of your marriage can be transformed by God. Because Smith has extensive experience as a pastor and counselor, there are lots of great stories and illustrations, too. His chapter 'Person or Object, Honor or Manipulation?' alone is worth the price of the book.

What Did You Expect? Paul Tripp

What Did You Expect? by Paul Tripp (book, leader's & discussion guide)

While marriage is wonderful, the gap between couples' expectations and the realities of everyday life becomes obvious pretty quickly. Which can lead to significant struggles. 🙂 This book covers six commitments couples must make as they apply the bible's teachings on sin and grace to their marriage. Also available: a live conference on the book's material with a reproducible leader's and discussion guide.

I Still Do Dave Harvey

I Still Do by Dave Harvey (book, study guide, devotional)

This book is designed for couples who are out of the newlywed stage, and covers the defining moments of our marriages. Things like when our spouse suffers, we discover brokenness is deeper than sin and the way sex changes with age. A really important book for couples after the first few years.

Christ-Centered Marriage Guide

Christ-Centered Marriage Guide (Free Guide)

Just because you and your spouse are Christians doesn't mean your marriage is actually centered around Christ. And yet, that is what makes the biggest difference. Learn to take the next, small steps to help your marriage keep moving toward that ideal. 

Sexual Purity

I've seen so many guys (but also women) struggle in this area, with dire consequences. But God is greater than our struggles, and I hope these resources will help you live in the light. Even if you're failing repeatedly, if you're reading this sentence, consider this an opportunity for a new beginning!

Covenant Eyes

Accountability Software: Covenant Eyes

One of the challenges is that pornography is available so easily and privately online. Covenant Eyes produces top-notch software to protect you, and can automatically let a trusted friend know when you've watched something you probably should not have. I personally know guys who use and recommend this highly. 

Sexual Detox Tim Challies cover

Sexual Purity For Men: Sexual Detox by Tim Challies (book)

One of the challenges is that pornography is available so easily and privately. Covenant Eyes produces top-notch software to protect you, and can automatically let a trusted friend know when you've watched something you probably should not have. I personally know guys who use and recommend this highly. 

Purity Is Possible Helen Thorne cover

Sexual Purity For Women: Purity Is Possible by Helen Thorne (book)

Apparently, at least 1 in 5 Christian women use pornography. And, 1 in 3 visitors to a porn site is a woman. Not to mention all kinds of other explicit material that's available. This isn't just 'a guy problem', and this book addresses pornography from a female, biblical and vulnerable angle.

blue light in darkness sexual purity pornography

Collection of Resources on Sexual Purity & Pornography by The Gospel Coalition

Tons of great, free resources from TGC on this important topic.

Men, when something matters, we prepare for it.

So why don't we prepare for dating and marriage?

Discover the four essential areas you must pursue to make sure you're ready to date, lead and marry a godly woman in my online video course.