Premarital Counseling: Why Your Church’s Class Is (Probably) Not Enough | Bryan Stoudt
Premarital Counseling Church

Premarital Counseling: Why Your Church’s Class Is (Probably) Not Enough

If you could design your own premarital counseling class, what would it include?

The premarital counseling churches usually provide walks couples through topics like these:

Over 4-8 sessions, several couples typically meet together with a facilitator and work through the essential premarital counseling topics.  In between sessions, there’s usually some prep work that includes studying relevant bible passages and discussion questions.

In fact, my wife and I do something similar when we help couples get ready for marriage.

But something – something really important – is missing.

A Better Way

Don’t get me wrong.  The usual approach is a battle-tested, solid one.  Couples receive a biblical worldview around the key topics, personalize it as they talk with their fiance(e), and grow together with other couples.

And it’s way better than nothing.

If I had to give it a review on Amazon, though, I’d only give it two-and-a-half stars.

The thing that’s missing is tailored, one-on-one, personal investment from a more seasoned, godly couple.  And that’s a really big deal.

We know this from other areas of life.  For example, which would you prefer?

  • Taking an audio tour through the Louvre, or, a personally-guided one with an expert?
  • Working through a financial wellness curriculum with a book and discussion guide, or, sitting down with an experienced financial planner?
  • Going to the gym, or, working with a personal trainer?

In each case, most of us would probably prefer the second option.  We know that personal attention from someone who know’s what they’re doing is far, far more effective than something more generic.

There is clear, biblical evidence that this approach works.  Jesus chose to spend the most valuable years of his life pouring into just twelve men.  And had an inner circle of just three.  Paul, himself a master discipler, also made personal discipleship a cornerstone of his ministry (2 Timothy 2:2